The Early Bird Does Not Get the Worm

Posted on July 24, 2007 by Girl Friday

Last week I had to work out the kinks of being the first person at the office. What kinks, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

It turns out that college professors are really just aged college students. Most college students hate getting up early, and it turns out that professors hate mornings too. Except they have a fancy job that entitles them to dictating their schedule without much reverence to commonly accepted business hours.

So I am the first to arrive everyday. I can surf the net in my cozy office and eat my breakfast leisurely. I can do a lot of things, but unfortunately not with much ease or peace of mind after last Monday.

Our office doesn’t open until 9 AM, but I have to be here as close to 8 AM as possible so that I can receive the mail from our campus delivery system. This ritual is no different than it used to be at my last office, except that like clockwork the mail carrier arrived at 8:45 and one of two guys was my standard mail guy. We’d talk about the weekend or their kids. They were wonderful morning people. Now, my life has been ruined by a varying rotation of mail carriers, carriers that arrive sporadically between 8 and 9, and one carrier in particular that thinks he’s a stud.

On Monday my boss asked if I could be absolutely certain to catch the mail guy to give him an outgoing package. I agreed and rushed to the office so I could be here promptly at 8. I paced the hall waiting for the familiar ding of the elevator. Finally, at 8:50 Max strolls in with his mail cart. I introduce myself. Then, he asked me out. He knew just my name and that I was new. (And dammit, why didn’t I tell him I’m a lesbian!?)  I was flabbergasted. I declined his offer as politely as possible, but it was early and I hadn’t had my first cup of coffee so I may have been a bit clumsy.

Getting to work early for the mail services guy never looked so unappealing in my life. Never again. Now, I don’t rush. I’m in no hurry to be hit on by Max, the probably-student-summer-worker with a peach fuzz ‘stache and a “cool guy” swagger.  No thank you.  (There may have even been a gold chain.)  It is a fact commonly known that all boys who are a good five to ten years younger than me find me wildly attractive.  I do not know why I own this demographic.

Max was the cosmic reward I got for being on time for once in my life.  True story.

Posted in Office Stories | 2 Comments

Long Time No Speak

Posted on July 16, 2007 by Girl Friday

July is already half way over and I’m just now poking my head out of self-imposed hibernation. It’s been a busy few weeks, that’s for sure.

After my last entry I worked one last week flip-flopping between my old job and my new one. During that last week my coworkers threw me a little “coffee break” celebration. It was tasty and very thoughtful. I often quote the wise words of Lorelai Gilmore, “Coffee, coffee, coffee,” so it was a very fitting way to say farewell. My new office took out May, the girl I’m replacing, on her last day. It was lovely and it made me feel like I have a lot to look forward to working here.

That Friday after work, The BF and I set out for my parents’ house. We were supposed to go on a family vacation to Lake Tahoe, but at just a few days prior my dad had to have surgery. All is well now, but it did put a damper on the vacation (my parents insisted that we go without them).  Before leaving for the trip we got to meet Lucky 10-Key’s kitten, Piper. He’s a ball of energy and now we’re in serious consideration of getting a cat of our own.

The BF and I went up to the lake on Monday, and later that night my brother and our cousin arrived. I invited English Diva too and she joined us on Tuesday. We had fun just hanging out, getting a tan, eating junk food, and playing put-put golf by the lake. She regaled us with tales of being a teacher. Instead of traditional citations or afternoons in detention, English Diva challenges her problem students to arm wrestling matches, and in severe cases she threatens to punch them with her gunz. She flashes her toned arms in her best body builder pose, and I’m guessing that at this point her students are so distracted by her wit and charm that they drop whatever nonsense they were carrying on in the first place. I wonder if I’ll ever develop that kind of rapport with my students.

After celebrating Fourth of July, we headed back to my parents’ house, but not before swinging by Ikea. We bought lots of stuff, but my prize purchase is this silk screened print of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Audry
Back at home, we hung out poolside, visited the preview sale of a government repo auction where I saw not one, but two King Tut golden paper mache heads, and did the requisite laundry. I also got to hang out with Notorious M.A.G. We went to her cousins’ coffee drive-though and had something deliciously decadent called the Peanut Butter Frio. We exchanged some music and she caught me up on gossip. It was quite a nice topper on my wonderful vacation.

I started up at my new job, full-time, last Monday. I’ve been running to keep up and I’m figuring things out as I go. Being Girl Friday means flying by the seat of your pants and doing it with a smile. I think I’ve got some balance back in my life now, so I hope to get back to a normal writing schedule. I hope you’re all well. TTFN.

Posted in Homegirl, Life, Office Stories, Travel | 1 Comment

Somebody Please Entertain Me

Posted on June 22, 2007 by Girl Friday

I am at my new job for a whole eight hours today.  I’d love to take the opportunity and get lots done, but unfortunately I don’t have access to the system I need to complete THE ONE PROJECT THEY GAVE ME.  And no one is here.  So I blog…

The Pink Fairy Goes Blue:  Yes!  You heard it!  She got a fantabulous job with The Blue Man Group!  Woot!  There is absolutely hope for all us schmoes that have a degree and haven’t yet had the chance to use it!

I’m a Yes girl:  Even if you don’t have a pristine record, you CAN get a job.  I relate to people who have made mistakes.  I feel for people who have been fired or misused and abused by former bosses.  You’re not a failure—your job history doesn’t have to sparkle, it can absolutely have a patina.  We hired someone for my position and even though she had a few marks against her, I really liked her and I think all will work out in the end.  I remember when I interviewed for my first job… I totally almost cried because during the interview they asked me about the time I quit without notice!  Eek!  It was totally traumatizing!

Oh Oprah!:  Oprah gets my gears turning every time I watch her show.  So far this year I have vowed to cut down on my napkin usage, I have tried to clean with all-natural products and reduce my usage of chemicals, I have switched to a more eco-friendly soaps and detergents, and I only use a soap box if the box is biodegradable.  I have also decided that once things calm down a bit, I will look for an opportunity to be a mentor in the community.  In July I want to investigate this whole world called retirement savings.  I also plan to crack down and finish my Cormac McCarthy books.  Actually, I just really need to read all those book club books that I got at Costco in the last couple of years!

TV Time:  Now that all my shows are on hiatus, I have some open slots…here’s what I’m filling them with: Top Chef, My Life on the D-List, The Age of Love (it will make you feel smart and beautiful, I swear!) Last Comic Standing, Arrested Development (on DVD!), Coupling (the UK version on DVD), and La Femme Nikita (boy that J.J. is a rip-off!).

What are you guys and gals up to?

Posted in Life, Office Stories, TV | 1 Comment