The Diary of Girl Friday

Dear Girl with the Snake,

Do not come into my office and complain about your upstairs neighbor who is moving around “excessively” during the night. Do not ask where you can make a noise complaint. Noise equals loud music, yelling, parties, televisions up too high, and general mayhem. Noise is not the sound of people walking in their second floor apartment. I realize it’s inconvenient if you are a light sleeper, but again, I am not your personal noise complaint receiver nor the official noise complaint notice poster.

Do not become outraged and tell me that I should post a notice or send the resident a letter. Do not compare it to the time YOU got a letter. Because you ARE THE GIRL WITH THE SNAKE.

We can’t punish someone for moving about their apartment, but we can take action when SOMEONE HAS A SNAKE.

(And I’m talking about an uncaged boa constrictor, not a little bitty thing!)

M’Kay? Thanks.

Sincerely,

Girl Friday