Life is No Cabaret

I spent the better part of my afternoon talking to one of my coworkers about our quarter life crises.  Laura just graduated from college and was brutally honest enough to admit that she’s hoping for her dream job to fall into her lap.  I tried to pass along all of my hard-knock wisdom I could.  For entertainment purposes, here is a dramatization:

About three in the afternoon Laura arrives at the office, ready to be of some assistance to Dave and me.  We are both bogged down with stuff and Laura’s humor is refreshing after a long week.  Laura works at a steady clip, putting keys away and helping residents.  She’s thorough and has an easy rapport with her peers.  Dave is in an out of the office, and I find some comfort in that.  Spending eight hours a day with a man I’d probably never befriend in everyday life can be a bit too much to bear.  I’m at my desk entering data into the personnel system.  Files are strewn everywhere, and pink Post-Its litter the remaining surface.

I look up when I realize Laura’s live-in position is nearing the end.  I consider what will become of her.  Working with such a transient population is hard at times; I can’t help but grow attached to some of the characters that float in and out of the office—Laura is no exception—she’s off-beat and our hometowns are only separated by a short ride on the 99.

“What’s the plan, Laura?  Are you going back home when your job ends?”  It’s a live-in position, and I’m betting it will be hard for her to move back in with her parents after she’s enjoyed her own apartment for the last year.

“God, no.  I’m thinking of sticking around here for a little while.”

“Yeah, it’s hard to go back,” I empathize.

I can tell Laura wants to ask me something, but she hesitates, and after a split second pipes up, “Do you like working as an administrative assistant?”

I can’t tell if she’s being thoughtful and is genuinely interested or is mocking me just a little.  I’ve heard her talk to annoying residents in the same tone, and I admire her for it.  My attempt at subtle mockery is always thinly veiled, and I know that I’ve earned a reputation as a snob more than once in my life.  Somehow with Laura, though, I don’t care.  I’m honest, even though one of the director’s doors is open and my boss has grown suddenly quiet.  “No.  This isn’t forever for me.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to be a writer.”  I choke on the opportunity to tell her I am a writer.  I think it sounds pretentious to call this exercise in trial by error—writing.

“Have you written anything?”  It’s the second time this week I’ve had to think of something witty to say in response.

“Yeah.  I’ve worked on two novels, I’m working on some short stories, and other stuff.”  I leave out this diary, because my boss is still listening in.

“That’s cool.”

It’s my turn to ask the dreaded question, and she knows it’s coming, but can’t think of a good answer.  “What do you want to do, Laura?”

“I don’t know!  Everyone keeps asking me that and I just don’t know what to say.”

“I’ve so been there,” I assure her, but I don’t want to let her off that easy.  “Tell me the first thing that comes to mind when I ask you what you want to be.  Don’t think about it.  Do you know?”

“I don’t know.”  She sounds a little defeated, but she’s only twenty-two at max and that simply won’t do.

“You’ve always known deep down what you want to do, you’re just too afraid to say it out loud to the universe.”  I think about my grandfather and how he chided my mother about talking too much.  He said instead of talking about doing something, you should just do it.  He believed in action over words.  (I see the irony in that now.)

“How did you know you wanted to be a writer?”

“I’ve known since I was twelve.  But I just started saying it out loud last year.”

I don’t remember how she reacted, but somehow she turns the conversation to expectations, “My mom wants me to translate this book she wrote.  She wants us to be a mother-daughter inspirational book-writing duo.  I think it’s nice she’s thinking of my future, but that’s just not my thing.”

I tell her briefly about my own parents’ hopes and dreams of me becoming a teacher.  We can relate that friends and family who know what they want and go after practical jobs make it so much harder for people to understand us.  I tell her that clichés are tacky but true.  The grass is always greener on the other side.  Don’t judge a book by its cover.  I try to reassure her that you can never really know if someone is genuinely happy or if they’re just going through the motions, fooling us all along the way, tricking us into being envious.  I don’t know if I’m giving her a pep talk or breaking the bad news.  We quiet down when Dave returns, because even though we haven’t said it out loud, we’re talking about big things—the kind of things you can’t talk to some people about without getting a big lump in your throat.

It’s almost time to go and I’m thinking about the days I used to sit in my room wishing that I could be a writer.  Did I think that through sheer will power I could transform my life?  Suddenly, I remember the most important cliché that I forgot to tell Laura—if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.

Posted in Clichés, Life, Office Stories, Ships | 4 Comments

Trying to Keep a Happy Face

I’ve been dealing with major suckage at work. I have more projects than I can handle, an endless list of questions that I can never get answers for, and people that take little interest in what happens on my side of the cubicle. I plowed through a ton of work the past two days, but I just got asked to take on another assignment, the Professional Organization for Women’s retreat is this upcoming Tuesday, and I have to work next Sunday.

I told the Beth, the POW president, (who happens to work in my department) that I might not be able to attend because I’m sort of drowning. She couldn’t even hold back her contempt. She asked me if I understood the enormity and the importance of the organization and this annual retreat. I busied myself and tried to slink away from the interrogation. Instead of harassing me she could have shown some compassion for my workload. Beth’s office is one of the big assignments I’m dealing with. Her manager is having a bon voyage and their assistant retired. My boss and I are doing all we can to keep them from falling into a black hole of bureaucracy. All we get from them is a heap of complaints.

I let Beth’s comments roll off my back, but only because I had practice with her kind the previous night. I started a new writing class on Wednesday, and the woman who sat next to me, Gwen, was wretched. She’s one of those middle-aged hags who are so self-important but have nothing to base it on other than the fact that they are busy with meaningless nothings. Whatever. Maybe she’s a nice woman with a community spirit. Either way, she made me feel like I had no right to be in the room with the other forty odd (and I mean ODD) wannabe writers. I know Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” so I guess Gwen got a hold of a forged permission slip…

Despite these two women and their disparaging remarks, I feel okay with where things are headed. I know I have a lot to learn at work, and one of those things is saying NO. I probably need to drop out of POW. My heart really isn’t in it. I’m going to end up resenting the people even more than I already do if I don’t speak up. I also know that I may not be a prolific writer, yet, but at least 36 people read my work on a daily basis. Gwen should be so lucky!

So, I found sunshine in all the gloom and doom.

Posted in Life, Office Stories, Quotes | 2 Comments

I’ve Been Dying to Find Out the Hard Way

Today, you may have noticed that this little ol’ diary was temporarily down or the page may have taken an abnormal amount of time to load.  The reason for my disappearing act was due to heavy traffic on the server from which this site runs.  See, The BF’s blog was on the front page of Digg.  It’s kind of a big deal in the internet world.  Thousands of techies were trying to read all about it at Live CD News.  Perhaps a few of the White and Nerdy may have landed here through a series of tubes.  Hello and welcome.  This is where all the pretty girls hang out.  Don’t be shy.  We don’t bite.  (Unless you ask.)

In an effort to better understand my demographic, I’d really like to know more about the thirty or so visitors I get consistently.  Some days my stats spike and some days they dip, but on average I get about 36 unique visitors.  I know six of my readers, and every month the number of people bookmarking this site increases.  In short, I’m just curious about who you are and what you’re up to.  I mean, you know all about my friends and me!  In true Girl Friday fashion, I’ve come up with a few stories about what my hypothetical readers’ lives are like.

Sally Sue lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  She’s never been to the beach, but she works in a humdrum office and no matter the location—it’s the same shit, different assholes.  Sally Sue is dying to try sushi, and her favorite Gal Pal is English Diva.

Second Lieutenant Jen is stationed in Saudi Arabia.  She’s dying for her very own Mad Lib, but she’s not sure when she’ll have time to use the computer again, and she can’t even remember the name of a celebrity she’d want to be friends with.  She’s a little behind in her Us Weekly.  Jen isn’t just a figurative Superheroine.  She’s a real bad ass.  She’s pretty sure she could show Girl Friday a thing or two about toughening up.

Sybilla surfs all day in Australia.  She doesn’t own heels, but she has an extensive collection of flip-flops.  She loves it when Girl Friday is in her listmaking mood, and will totally hire her to be her personal assistant once she turns pro.

Well, there you have it.  This is the grown-up version of imaginary friends.  I have twenty-seven more and counting!

Posted in Random | 3 Comments