1. How to say, “Yes, please,” when your boss assigns you more work.
2. How to accidentally rat out your coworker on an issue of little importance.
3. How to be productive, yet find an inordinate amount of time scouring the internet, sending personal e-mails, and chatting about everything and nothing with people you don’t even like.
4. How to piss off your boss by taking a coffee break and speaking above a whisper.
5. How to get wrangled into celebrating and organizing a coworker’s birthday whose moods range from hostile to perky.
6. How to keep a straight-face when your creepy coworker lingers in the office doing nothing in particular while peering over your shoulder hoping to get a good peek at the illicit material he knows you’re hiding—like that Wikipedia entry on Old Norse or your My Space page.
7. How to discreetly hang out on the forums and send private messages to really cool people regarding top secret viper pilot chisme.
8. How to compromise your strong work ethic for fifteen more minutes of sleep, breakfast, and a full face of makeup.
9. How to be charming when waltzing in at 8:07 AM, and how to be sheepish when you take an extra fifteen minutes at lunch.
10. How to make endless lists and never seem to cross everything off.
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Can Girl Friday show me how to stop people that I work with from going on vacation/leave and then telling people “If you need anything while I am gone see Notorious MAG”. Yeah I have my boss out until Monday, my HR director out for 2-4 weeks, and the accounting manager gone for 12 weeks! Stressed is putting it mildly!