If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother

I’ve been trying to write something fabulous and witty, but I’m coming up dry.  This emotional roller coaster of a week has really drained me of my normally coherent thought process.  Instead, silliness is running a muck!  I spent the better part of the afternoon playing my own verison of Mad Libs with Lucky 10-Key!  Thanks for the distraction…  Here are the wonderful fictitious lives we created.  Enjoy!

1.  Once upon a time there was a girl named Michele.  She dreamed of visiting Rome.  She worked really hard at being the prettiest reading teacher at her school.  In her spare time she loved to eat ravioli and do crossword puzzles.  Even though she had a lot of make-up, she still had aspirations of hiking places and swimming in a luxurious bathtub all day long and meeting the man of her dreams.  One day she struck it rich when she sold her banal collection of hair spray and cell phones on E-bay.  She moved to Rome and found work as a professional seamstress for Prada.  She bought an ugly place and fixed it right up with a few coats of black and green paint.  She was so pretty and since she slept so much and walked everywhere she was very healthy and it showed in her face.  Everywhere she went in Rome men swooned and women were envious.  One fine day she met her own Doctor McDreamy and they ate ravioli everyday and lived happily ever after in their black and green house.

2.  While visiting your pastry chef friend Michele in Paris, you decide to do a little shopping for some new paintings.  You decide that the painting must match your brand new fuchsia settee.  While perusing the gallery, you bump into Colin Firth who thought he was walking into a bookstore. “It must be fate!” he declares to you upon your meeting.  You have a whirlwind romance and run to NYC to elope, but at the alter you decide not to marry Colin.  You just aren’t sure. So you move in with your dear friend Megan, the aspiring clothes designer, for awhile to figure things out and write in your journal.  Megan vows to get you out of your funk, so the two of you embark on a journey to Iceland.  While at the local night club, Slate, dancing the night away, you spy a model-like piano player, who is, coincidentally named Jamie Bamber.  You and your Jamie spend the entire night drinking coffee and feeding each other chocolate – aphrodisiac city!  After this night, you never think of Colin again…