He May Not Be Real Experienced With Girls

The hazards of dating continue in today’s installation…

I spoke to Latte Lady last night about an embarrassing incident that happened on the rooftop of a swanky boutique hotel in the heart of downtown. On Wednesday, she accepted an invitation from a coworker that she refers to as Bozo. (He tends to put his foot in his mouth every other sentence, and for that reason she has not introduced me to him. I have a surprisingly low tolerance for dolts.) Bozo had a friend visiting, Dopey, and they heard about a mixer at the hotel, so they conned Latte Lady into going and giving them a ride. Latte Lady agreed to accompany them, thinking they’d at least buy her a drink. To her chagrin, they ditched her almost immediately and started making the rounds. A chick really hinders their game—well, that and their personalities.

Dejected, Latte Lady sidled up to the bar and saw two very attractive men. She started chatting them up, and they appeared very intrigued by her (and who wouldn’t be!?). They bought her a drink and she became instantly smitten. Ken and Ben both explained that they work in publishing and lead fabulous lives in New York City. Latte Lady honed in her flirting magic on Ben, and he seemed to return it in kind. Ken and Ben casually asked if the two fellows she arrived with were a couple—apparently they had been spotted holding hands. Latte Lady explained that no, they were not a couple, just two close friends.

Latte Lady excused herself to find Bozo and Dopey. She wanted to see what was up with the handholding rumor. Bozo and Dopey blasted the rumor. Bozo said he couldn’t understand why everyone always thought they were a couple. Then the pair dropped the bomb. Bozo and Dopey inquired if Latte Lady had seen Ken and Ben’s promise rings. Promise rings!

Latte Lady shuffled back to the duo feeling like a dunce. She had totally and utterly misread the signs! Ken did say he was a food critic… She had to grin and bear it for the rest of the evening. Ken and Ben were very kind and entertaining; she had to stop herself several times from suggesting that one or both should look her up if they ever decided to switch teams.

Though the evening was riddled with odd moments, Latte Lady found some comfort atop the gorgeous hotel in her gin and tonic.

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2 Responses to He May Not Be Real Experienced With Girls

  1. Notorious M.A.G. says:

    Bozo & Dopey are JERKS! Better that Ken & Ben bought her a drink and chatted with her, than tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber!

  2. Weltsie says:

    In a world of increasing numbers of metrosexuals it’s hard for me to gauge ANYTHING from the get-go. I’ve been tricked by boys I thought were gay, turns out they’re just metro. In contrast, my best friend (who is gay) always manages to pick out the straight boys. It’s just an urban hodgepodge of metro-hetero-homo-confusion!

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