Close, but no (chocolate) cigar!

If you are anything like me, then Mondays tend to be a bit of a challenge after languidly spending a ridiculous number of hours positioned behind a screen of some sort (laptop and television in varying increments), and pushing responsibilities to the last possible second.

I traded sleep for Battlestar Galactica and Project Runway, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. How else could I justify indulging in Sees Candy all weekend long?

I had to have a chocolate cigar since I’m not badass enough to smoke a real one. Lucky 10-Key and I do have a stash of expensive cigars, but we got them for free in the Hamptons so really they’re more for posterity than anything else.

Charging $1.85 seemed sad, so I threw in a box of Awesome Walnut Square Bars. Unless you grew up like Lucky 10-Key and I did—eating walnuts during recess directly from the tree—then you can’t possibly understand my incessant cravings.

Latte Lady was my accomplice in the Great Chocolate Binge of 2006, but that’s not all the mischief we managed to get into this weekend. Latte Lady insisted on doing shots of brandy on Saturday night. It was unusually cold, and after an all too-sobering trip to the high priced mall, we needed a little something to the dull the edges.

My debauchery and hedonism didn’t stop there. On Sunday, The BF cooked New York steak and we polished off a bottle of wine.

I woke up this morning at 7 AM, but my clock flashed 2:46. Damn power outage! I bolted out of bed, knowing that number two on my not to-do list was going to be out of the question (make-up application during work hours). I managed to get to work only fifteen minutes late. Not a peep of my tardiness was mentioned, but I atoned for my sin by sticking to number three on my not to-do list. I was so busy all day that I only had time to browse the web for less than an hour! I knew the odds were stacked against me regarding number one on my not to-do list, but I tried! Instead of being annoyed at my coworker, I transferred my exasperation to the illiterate and nonsensical college students that plagued me until 4:59 when I packed up for the day.

Now it’s close to midnight and I’m making good on my word. Going to sleep would be easy, but I’m Girl Friday! I’m always up for a challenge—so instead I write!

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Welcome to the Diary of Girl Friday

It’s official! Girl Friday is back for more administrative hijinx!

My two-month anniversary for gainful employment will be this Friday! Purely coincidentally, The Pink Fairy will be here to help me celebrate properly. Her Irish mirth will make this the best St. Patrick’s Day ever! I know Guinness is Good For You and all, but The Pink Fairy is (mostly) here for business. I’ll be her eager chauffer over the weekend as she heads down to an open casting call in L.A. for Project Runway. Don’t make me kick your ass, Heidi. I know you’re like nine feet of German engineering, but I’m not afraid of you. I am, after all, the Superheroine of Small Offices Everywhere! Okay, so I’m not living the high-flying life of a viper pilot temp anymore, but I haven’t yet earned the illusive title of Superheroine of All Things New and Exciting. A girl’s got to have a goal.

Speaking of goals, I have a few for this week:
I vow on a holy stack of Superheroine’s Code of Ethics that I will not be annoyed by my coworkers, and instead transcend to a higher plane of wisdom and patience; apply my make-up in the bathroom, and instead wake-up on time and do it at home like a proper girl should; roll my eyes when the buck has been passed to me, it happens so often I really should just get over it already; spend more than half the day, okay three quarters, browsing the net when I should be shuffling papers from one pile to another.

That’s quite a hefty list of slacking limitations I’ve set for myself.
I am proud to be a paragon of office protocol!

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What is a girl Friday?

Official definition of girl Friday:

Old-fashioned term

1. A female assistant entrusted with a wide variety of tasks.
2. An efficient and faithful woman aide or employee.

Synonyms: gal Friday, right-hand girl, gofer, flunky, underling, second banana, pink collar, pencil pusher

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