The Diary of Girl Friday

Girl Friday knows that being dressed to impress is a requirement for all Superheroines. The worst crime to commit, after all, would be a fashion faux pas! Girl Friday wears a combination of classic and quirky outfits. She never leaves home without a cardigan or light jacket, which doubles as her flying cape, of course. Always in tow is her bag of hand-to-hand combat weapons (really it’s just a fabulous purse stuffed with everything to help her get through hellish days at the office). No Superheroine’s outfit would be complete without the right footwear. Girl Friday loves a basic heel, but never leaves home without her flip-flops because even Superheroines like to be comfortable!

For the past couple of days Girl Friday has been irreverently assisting a local nonprofit organization with a truly cheesy fundraiser for a worthy cause. While the assorted staff members milled about in their business casual outfits (emphasis on the cas), Girl Friday single handedly alphabetized color-coded cards, and with her death ray eyes matched five names to nine faces.

Kathy A.: The Boss
Kathy B.: Admin. Assistant I
Khrystyl: The Snob with the Stupid Name
Crystal: The Intern with the Crazy Expensive Pants
Rochelle: Admin. Assistant II
Rachele: The Sassy Blonde
Cary: The Chubby (boy) Telemarketer
Keri: The Short (girl) Telemarketer
Hank: The Boy Who Secretly Lives Out of His ’88 Accord

Girl Friday spotted Hank while she walked (begrudgingly) the three blocks to the office (no parking perks even for Superheroines). Girl Friday felt bad for Hank so she reserved her razor sharp comments (ok, inner thoughts) for Khrystyl. Girl Friday wondered if Khrystyl’s parents were on acid when they named their poor daughter. By the end of the assignment, Girl Friday determined that in spite of her parents’ attempt at raising a unique individual, Khrystyl was a rather dim, self-centered, and conceited witch (with a capital B).

Girl Friday put her dignity on the line, yet again, when The Boss asked her to work at the fundraiser dressed as a Cowgirl. “It’s a Western Round Up,” she said. Girl Friday asked if she could wear jeans. The Boss was not pleased. It may have been a Western theme but it wasn’t Friday. Girl Friday, being a Superheroine and all, had more important things to do than plan the perfect outfit and makeup palette (unlike the Crazy Rich Intern and the Snob with the Stupid Name). On the appointed day, Girl Friday dressed in khakis and a checkered shirt. Yee-haw! Girl Friday was pleased with her attempt but her ego was tragically deflated when the rest of the staff showed up looking like they raided the closet on the set of Coyote Ugly. Their take on the Western theme was Western Dominatrix/Hooker Chic. Girl Friday just took her seat and tri-folded pamphlets until The Boss switched her to stamping envelopes.

Tomorrow, Girl Friday is off to rescue another desperate office in need of a dose of Superheroine morale. Girl Friday sincerely hopes that dressing up/role playing is not required (unless it’s at time and a half pay, of course).

There is no office task too big or too small that Girl Friday can’t handle. Bachelor’s Degree in hand, Girl Friday is adept at shuffling and shredding papers, answering a multi-line phone system, and dealing with assorted neurotic bosses and even more neurotic clients. Girl Friday knows the alphabet, won’t swallow the key or let a message go astray.

You can count on Girl Friday when there is a temporary vacancy to fill. You can count on Girl Friday when there is a seasonal influx of work to be mismanaged and delegated. You can count on Girl Friday to look busy even when she has already finished all of her work and it’s only 10 AM. You can count on Girl Friday to make your coffee just right and make you feel superior when you call her your Secretary.