I Can Paint My Face and Stand Very Very Still

I’ve noticed a startling trend in my life.  I am becoming very apathetic about aesthetics.  I guess you could say I’m a girly girl—not sure what number I’d be on the spectrum, but probably closer to 10 than most.  I’ve been wearing makeup since sometime in the seventh grade.  My mom told me that once I started wearing makeup, I had to wear it everyday.  Her theory is that one shouldn’t pick and chose which days to look nice and which days to look plain.  I always sort of accepted her philosophy.  She’s the sort of mom that chased after her daughter because she wasn’t wearing any lipstick (true story, English Diva can attest to it).  I’ve always enjoyed the process of doing my makeup, I think of it as art.  I’m not so great with painting, but give me an eyeliner and I’m golden…or smudged or smoky.  Lately I’ve been doing the bare minimum, and sometimes I don’t finish my makeup until 2 PM!  Sometimes I don’t finish it at all (gasp!).  I’m scared that this means I’ve gotten too comfortable in life and work.

One Superheroine motto that I’ve adopted is, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”  I think I’m falling very short of this lately.  I bring heels to change into (because walking from my apartment to my car and from my car to the office is so far), but then “forget” and wear flip-flops all day long.  I used to go to work with my cutest handbags and shoes, because that’s what being a Superheroine is all about, right?  It’s all about attitude and looking good even when you’re in a compromising position…

I need to jump back on the fashion wagon, because my dowdy look is depressing me!

And on that note, here are some rather odd and possibly entertaining Mad Libs—you be the judge.

For The BF:

2 People: Dana Scully, Serj Tankian
2 Verbs: rollerblading, walking on the beach
2 Adjectives: shiny, large
2 Places: laguna beach, AM-PM
2 Favorite Things: lollipops, envelopes
2 Colors: red, green
1 Food or Drink: popcorn chicken
1 Time of Day: supper
1 Hobby: collecting condiment packets
1 Job: delivery boy

Serj Tankian had to get a part-time job as a delivery boy because putting supper on the table while he lived in Laguna Beach was not easy.  He’d given up on activism after he found inner peace while rollerblading.  At night he dreamed of walking on the beach with Dana Scully.  He tried to woo her by stuffing lollipops into envelopes (it seemed to work on Valentine’s Day when he was a kid).   He stared out of his large window, waiting for the day Scully would show up in her shiny Crown Vic.  Serj waited in vain and ate his meager dinner of popcorn chicken.  He dressed the plate (just like he learned from the Food Network) in red and green (ketchup and relish).  He enjoyed collecting condiment packets from the AM-PM.

For Lucky 10-Key:

2 People:  Girl Friday and Lucky 10-Key
2 Verbs:  Cross-Country Ski and Type
2 Adjectives:  Fluffy and Appealing
2 Places:  Italy and Grocery Store
2 Favorite Things:  Cashmere and Chocolate
2 Colors:  Emerald and Lavender
1 Food or Drink:  Mojito
1 Time of Day:  Sunset
1 Hobby Playing:  Bingo
1 Job:  Personal shopper

Lucky 10-Key was playing bingo and enjoying her evening mojito when she suddenly realized she’d won. She shouted, “Bingo!” and everyone cheered! To celebrate her victory she invited her dear friend Girl Friday on a cross-country ski trip in Italy. The pair had so much fun that they decided to stay in Europe permanently. Girl Friday found happiness typing up her memoir, while Lucky 10-Key segued her love for shopping into a career as a personal shopper for George Clooney. (He has a palatial mansion on Lake Como, you know!) He sent her to the grocery store often because he had a penchant for chocolate. Lucky 10-Key found that rather appealing in a man. For his birthday Lucky 10-Key found the fluffiest cashmere sweater. George was smitten and presented her with a huge emerald. They took a walk in the field of lavender and watched the sunset.

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