How About a Nine-Month Long Vacation?

Posted on September 23, 2006 by Girl Friday

There’s no rest for the wicked. I have to go to work on Sunday. Argh. Getting up on weekdays is hard enough. I really don’t want to get up at 6 AM to get ready for work. I suppose I don’t have to get up that early in the morning, but I do enjoy my routine. I get up, take my laptop to the couch, check my e-mail, read news and blogs, and generally put off having to get ready until about 6:45 AM. Then, I take a shower, and I swear every morning it will be quick, but I don’t usually get out until 7:12 AM. I scurry about blow drying my hair and applying makeup. I’m out the door around 7:45 AM. At least tomorrow they are providing breakfast. I only have to work a half-day, but still.

I have to work because it is the Big Fall Move-In. We’ll be getting a fresh load of students. So far I’ve met a handful of grad students only. Dave and I are thinking of instituting a Student of the Month program for our favorite residents. The two girls from Iceland and Denmark are our top contenders. Perhaps we’ll make a bulletin bored and everything!

I know I shouldn’t be complaining about working on Sunday since I know many of my Gal Pals have to work on the weekends, too. Lucky 10-Key worked today, and when I called her at the office she kept muttering something about numbers not balancing. Oh the life of an accountant! Latte Lady joined The BF and me for dinner (I made Chicken Parmigiana). She told me all about the weekend hours she’s putting in at The House. She used to live at this big house with nine other people. They miss her so much they pay her to do odd jobs. Notorious M.A.G. is a workaholic and can’t seem to get away from the office! She has a much more rigid schedule these days, so sometimes the office comes home with her.

It’s hard to believe with all the complaining I do that I used to work full-time and take a full load of units in college. I wonder how I managed back then? Then I remember that I never wrote (unless it was for school), my hair was unkempt (long and shapeless), and I looked dead on my feet. These days I have time for my leisurely pursuits, my hair is always neatly coifed, but…well, I think I still look dead on my feet sometimes!

Is there a fabulous remedy in a tube that I can buy? Somebody point me to the nearest Sephora.

Posted in Life, Office Stories | 1 Comment

Put Your Insides All on Ice

Posted on September 22, 2006 by Girl Friday

I had a lull in my afternoon—it was the calm before the storm—so I thought I’d amuse Neridra, Queen of Anagrams, by writing a mock-up of a rejection letter she’s been putting off writing (and by mock, I mean mock). See, she can’t follow her own advice! She got suckered into organizing an annual art show. Naturally, Girl Friday has received more than her fair share of rejection letters! Rejection is never fun, but who says it can’t be funny?

Dear Mr./Ms. Arty Pants,

Thank you for your interest in the annual Art Show. We appreciate the time and effort you spent in submitting your work and application, because lord knows you have nothing better to do. There is a wealth of talent and ingenuity in our artistic community, that’s to be expected, however, since there are so many great schools in the area like my alma mater. Unfortunately, you lack the right connections (it pays be my best friend). Perhaps your work would be better suited for your local elementary school craft fair or church swap meet. I’m sure some sucker would be willing to part with their hard earned cash to wear your I-baked-it-in-the-oven-ceramic-craft-bead necklaces or your earrings fashioned from lint trap fuzz and yarn—I know, you are an experimental artist.

As I have said, not so subtly before, we do appreciate your interest in the Art Show. Please do consider applying again next year after you have developed your craft a bit more (i.e. learned to make items that consumers will actually spend money on).

Thank you,

Neridra, Queen of Anagrams

I felt like a bitch after writing this, but Neridra assured me it was spot-on and undeniably hilarious. I know what it’s like to get a cold, impersonal letter from HR. I think I’d prefer something a bit more direct, maybe even if it were bitingly honest. HR letters are just like break-ups. They take the form of the following:

“Your set of skills do not meet our needs,” is equivalent to, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“There was an overwhelming pool of applicants, and at this time we decline to pursue your application further,” means, “There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and I plan to test the waters.”

“Thank you for your interest in the position, we feel that you may be better suited in another job and will keep your application on file,” is just like, “I don’t like you like that, but let’s stay friends.”

“We sincerely appreciate your interest, but the position has been filled,” is reminiscent of, “This was a lot of fun, but there’s someone else.”

See what I mean!?

Posted in Clichés, Random | 2 Comments

Two Down Now, but Who’s Counting Anyway?

Posted on September 21, 2006 by Girl Friday

Yours truly, Girl Friday, is participating in Darren Rowse’s ProBlogger.net How To Challenge. I submitted yesterday’s piece on how to work just like the Superheroine of Small Offices Everywhere. I’m not saying you have to adopt my techniques, but I find my days are much more pleasant when I follow my own advice!

I really am a good employee. Case in point—I skipped out on the POW retreat so I could get my work done. I got about 80% caught up, and today Dave’s wife started having contractions. He was out of the office for part of the day, and I was able to take over for him without the stress of my own duties! Planning pays off! In between checking students in and answering a million phone calls, I perused the other How To submissions. Here are two of my favorites:

Sarakastic writes on Gilmore Girl Fanatic how to Lose a Guy in Ten Minutes. We can all relate to really painful dates. Next time, go armed with a list of odd things you can do to annoy your date so he leaves. You’ll avoid the guilt of feigning illness, and have a hysterical story you can share at cocktail parties! I can actually see Lorelai Gilmore doing all of the things on the list!

Katy Whitton writes about How to Cope with Ineffectual Leadership on Flipping Heck! She discusses at length the varying types of managers. It is quite scary that I have had at least one manager from each of the categories. Currently, I have the Invisible Man, an Idealist, and a Shirker in my office. Read up on how to handle every management style!

Other than reading up on blogs, work has been quite busy this week. We’re in preparation mode for this weekend’s Big Student Move-In. Signs have been made, and they will undoubtedly not be read because as I have said before, college students don’t read. Rosters have been printed, and will be outdated by tomorrow afternoon when Bobby Joe discovers his roommate smokes and Mary Sue reads on My Space that her apartmentmate is questioning her sexuality. Luckily, I am not working Move-In on Saturday. I get to work on Sunday because I’m one of the few people who know how to operate one of the student databases.

I suppose I better wash my work polo shirt. I made the mistake of not washing my old one before wearing it. It was huge! One of my male coworkers insisted on congratulating me on my impending bundle of joy. I tried to tell him that I wasn’t pregnant, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Finally, I pulled the shirt tight across my upper body; he shut his mouth, mortified. He apologized to me the other day. Apparently it’s been eating away at him all summer. The moral of the story is to not be a jackass, and also to wear shirts that aren’t three sizes too big.

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