I’ve Been Feeling Dull as a Coat Hanger

The office has been quite busy this week. It’s the end of the pay period so my efforts in timekeeping have doubled. There have also been several student programs this week, so we’ve had more contact with the student staff. They’re always a laugh riot—I feel like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls when she says, “You girls keep me young.” I’m not saying I’m old, but we just have different mind-sets. They’re amused by my cynicism…well it is ha ha hilarious. This afternoon one of the student programs kicked off just as I was headed home for the evening. They call the event “H-2 Oh, Yeah!” It was Julia J’s idea. (Miss her!) Anyway, there were three large inflatable things on the lawn—a bounce house, a waterslide, and a jousting ring. Oh to be young again! Seriously. Then I wouldn’t be stuck in the damn office looking out my window wishing I were far, far away.

I guess that’s why I’ve got Mad Libs. I got a little behind today since I had no time to write at work. I could have written earlier this evening, but I was chatting with Lucky 10-Key and Notorious M.A.G.!

For Weltsie:

2 People: Donnie Darko, Penny Lane
2 Verbs: craving, laughing
2 Adjectives: laid back, friendly
2 Places: used bookstore, Morocco
2 Favorite Things: gardens, bridges
2 Colors: ruby red, orange
1 Food or Drink: espresso
1 Time of Day: dawn
1 Hobby: surfing
1 Job: firefighter

In a laid back used bookstore Donnie Darko sipped his espresso and admired the girl in the funky orange dress. She seemed friendly and kept laughing. Donnie was intrigued and stopped acting so emo long enough to ask Penny Lane out. She said she was having a craving for surfing. Donnie didn’t like the sun, or gardensor bridges (unless he was contemplating jumping off of them), but he agreed to meet her at dawn anyway. The way she looked in her ruby red bathing suit reminded him of a firefighter. It was a strange image, but then he was used to that. Penny Lane just kept on laughing. She changed her mind and decided she wanted to go to Morocco instead.

For d:

2 People: Kara & Lee
2 Verbs: swimming & dancing
2 Adjectives: bright & slowly
2 Places: the desert & the beach on a tropical island
2 Favorite Things: flowers & diamonds
2 Colors: azure & pistachio
1 Food or Drink: guacamole
1 Time of Day: midnight
1 Hobby: sunbathing
1 Job: mason

Kara and Lee lounged leisurely at the beach on a tropical island. They had finally found their bright, shiny future! They intended on enjoying every minute of it together, and Kara had the diamonds to prove it. They liked the desert, but they loved swimming in azure waters, so they compromised (yes, they slowly learned how!) and settled near the Sea of Cortez. They hired a mason to add a brick patio to their pistachio colored house in Cabo San Lucas. To get away from the noise of the construction, they took a mini-break on some remote island. The former pilots were tired of life on the run, so they embraced the simpler aspects of life like sunbathing and eating guacamole at midnight. They just weren’t the flowers and dancing kind of couple, but they lived happily ever after anyway.

Posted in Libs, Office Stories | 2 Comments

I Can Paint My Face and Stand Very Very Still

I’ve noticed a startling trend in my life.  I am becoming very apathetic about aesthetics.  I guess you could say I’m a girly girl—not sure what number I’d be on the spectrum, but probably closer to 10 than most.  I’ve been wearing makeup since sometime in the seventh grade.  My mom told me that once I started wearing makeup, I had to wear it everyday.  Her theory is that one shouldn’t pick and chose which days to look nice and which days to look plain.  I always sort of accepted her philosophy.  She’s the sort of mom that chased after her daughter because she wasn’t wearing any lipstick (true story, English Diva can attest to it).  I’ve always enjoyed the process of doing my makeup, I think of it as art.  I’m not so great with painting, but give me an eyeliner and I’m golden…or smudged or smoky.  Lately I’ve been doing the bare minimum, and sometimes I don’t finish my makeup until 2 PM!  Sometimes I don’t finish it at all (gasp!).  I’m scared that this means I’ve gotten too comfortable in life and work.

One Superheroine motto that I’ve adopted is, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”  I think I’m falling very short of this lately.  I bring heels to change into (because walking from my apartment to my car and from my car to the office is so far), but then “forget” and wear flip-flops all day long.  I used to go to work with my cutest handbags and shoes, because that’s what being a Superheroine is all about, right?  It’s all about attitude and looking good even when you’re in a compromising position…

I need to jump back on the fashion wagon, because my dowdy look is depressing me!

And on that note, here are some rather odd and possibly entertaining Mad Libs—you be the judge.

For The BF:

2 People: Dana Scully, Serj Tankian
2 Verbs: rollerblading, walking on the beach
2 Adjectives: shiny, large
2 Places: laguna beach, AM-PM
2 Favorite Things: lollipops, envelopes
2 Colors: red, green
1 Food or Drink: popcorn chicken
1 Time of Day: supper
1 Hobby: collecting condiment packets
1 Job: delivery boy

Serj Tankian had to get a part-time job as a delivery boy because putting supper on the table while he lived in Laguna Beach was not easy.  He’d given up on activism after he found inner peace while rollerblading.  At night he dreamed of walking on the beach with Dana Scully.  He tried to woo her by stuffing lollipops into envelopes (it seemed to work on Valentine’s Day when he was a kid).   He stared out of his large window, waiting for the day Scully would show up in her shiny Crown Vic.  Serj waited in vain and ate his meager dinner of popcorn chicken.  He dressed the plate (just like he learned from the Food Network) in red and green (ketchup and relish).  He enjoyed collecting condiment packets from the AM-PM.

For Lucky 10-Key:

2 People:  Girl Friday and Lucky 10-Key
2 Verbs:  Cross-Country Ski and Type
2 Adjectives:  Fluffy and Appealing
2 Places:  Italy and Grocery Store
2 Favorite Things:  Cashmere and Chocolate
2 Colors:  Emerald and Lavender
1 Food or Drink:  Mojito
1 Time of Day:  Sunset
1 Hobby Playing:  Bingo
1 Job:  Personal shopper

Lucky 10-Key was playing bingo and enjoying her evening mojito when she suddenly realized she’d won. She shouted, “Bingo!” and everyone cheered! To celebrate her victory she invited her dear friend Girl Friday on a cross-country ski trip in Italy. The pair had so much fun that they decided to stay in Europe permanently. Girl Friday found happiness typing up her memoir, while Lucky 10-Key segued her love for shopping into a career as a personal shopper for George Clooney. (He has a palatial mansion on Lake Como, you know!) He sent her to the grocery store often because he had a penchant for chocolate. Lucky 10-Key found that rather appealing in a man. For his birthday Lucky 10-Key found the fluffiest cashmere sweater. George was smitten and presented her with a huge emerald. They took a walk in the field of lavender and watched the sunset.

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I Got Home With My Imagination

Sometimes I can actually be rather productive (imagine that!) and still have fun at work.  Today was one of those days.  I went out for coff-ay with Suzie Q, figured out a way to get one of the assistant directors to “find her own best solution,” and solved a few timekeeping mysteries.  The director found something I let slip through the cracks (oops!), but I’m almost done patching things up.  I placed a supply order, but was deeply saddened when my coworker decided she didn’t want those smelly, fruity markers.  Bust.  I really wanted a set.  I was supposed to get 14 total, so what’s one more?

Work is starting to get back to some sort of regular schedule.  We have our weekly meeting tomorrow, which will be a nice way to break up the day.  It was on hiatus for the past month or more.  I actually really like meetings—they force me to be more productive and I feel like my work actually matters.  A lot of the Gal Pals are stressed out right now.  I think we’re pretty tough, so let’s just hang in there.  I obviously don’t have all the answers, but I can certainly relate.  I hope all of your situations improve!  I can only offer one paltry remedy for a bad day—Girl Friday’s version of Mad Libs!  Your assignment, should you choose to accept, is to provide words for the following prompts, and I will write a little story just for you!

2 People
2 Verbs
2 Adjectives
2 Places
2 Favorite Things
2 Colors
1 Food or Drink
1 Time of Day
1 Hobby
1 Job

Have fun!  Reply in a comment, an e-mail, or the forums.  I’m easy…well, not that easy.

Posted in Office Stories, Random | 9 Comments