The Diary of Girl Friday

It’s been an odd week at the office.  My supervisor is out of town for a button and bead show in Wisconsin.  My coworker had the stomach flu on Monday.  Here’s the problem I have with both of their reasons for not coming in:  1) a button and bead show is the making of a Christopher Guest movie; 2) I hate it when people talk about their intestinal ailments.  I find it truly interesting that my coworker gets a stomach ache every time the surf is good or when there is a can’t-miss soccer match on TV.  I don’t have a problem with wanting to play hooky, but I don’t need to hear disgusting excuses that involve bodily fluids.  And the buzz around the building is that my supervisor likes to pick notoriously busy times to go on crafting excursions.  Someone jokingly thought she might make me a piece of jewelry while she’s at this convention, but I really don’t think she will.  The best she could do for my birthday was sign the generic office card so I doubt she’ll be stringing together hideous B-F-F beads. 

I’m doing my payroll homework and part of the assignment is to hire fictitious employees.  So far I’ve hired Kara Thrace, Lee Adama, Jaye Tyler, and up next Veronica Mars.  I’m so insane that I’ve concocted elaborate stories.  Shocker, right?  I had to terminate Kara from the university because she punched a superior asshole.  Turns out viper pilots make horrible Admin Assistants.  But it’s okay because shortly thereafter she and Lee tied the knot.  Lee is an associate professor in the Classics department…figures…smarty pants.  Jaye still hears inanimate objects telling her to do good deeds, but she finally left the souvenir shop.  She’s a graduate student in the Philosophy department.  Eric followed his quirky girlfriend cross-country and opened up his own bar.  Jaye and Eric live blissfully in their shabby chic trailer at Santa Barbara Shores trailer park. 

My Awesome Imaginative Powers are a handy tool in fighting odious tasks!  Only the Superheroine of Small Offices Everywhere can turn payroll homework into a soap opera!