The Diary of Girl Friday

I am a University graduate with administrative experience serving educational, non-profit, financial, real estate and customer service fields. I have a combination of skills that make me the best choice for insert title here. As one of the leading employers for the county, insert company name here must hire staff that can follow simple or no instructions, reach deadlines while the boss peers over your shoulder, and interact with special needs clients and borderline psychotic managers. I am known for managing several projects while wearing heels, providing results in a timely fashion with a grin on my face, and keeping a positive attitude throughout the day even when the morale is desperately low.

I have worked in administrative positions because we’re in the middle of a recession but no one will just come out and say so. I know how to operate computers, especially the Internet. I have worked with at least ten different models of copiers and understand the importance of the collating function button. My winning personality makes me an asset to any team. My interpersonal skills are unbeatable, which explains why every boss thinks I’m a gem and I have to beat off offers of permanent positions with a stick.

I am the most awesome candidate for this position because I am punctual, dedicated, and totally kick-ass. You’d be lucky to land a gal like me.

Thank you for reading this acrobatic display of egoism. I look forward to discussing this position further at your earliest convenience. Merry Chrismukkuh!

Peace Out,

Girl Friday

Girl Friday has a lot on her plate these days. Not only does she have to contend with numerous seasonal tasks like decorating, shopping, baking, and crafting, but she is also applying to jobs like mad crazy. Her resume, while witty and snarky, pales in comparison to her cover letter! Check back soon to read all about it.

Anywho, Girl Friday has been feeling like karma’s bitch lately. A slew of bad days have made her feel as if she’s back at work in another horrendous office. On Saturday a vicious WASP attacked Girl Friday at the dinner table! And no, she’s not talking about The BF’s mother! She was stung by an actual insect wasp. After crying she was able to regain her composure, but the pain and annoyance were thinly veiled for the rest of the night by an ice pack and an insipid smile. Sunday was another disaster in the making (i.e. baking). A little something sweet was in order after an early dinner and an unbearable two-hour gap before Grey’s Anatomy. After discussing all options with Lucky 10-Key, Girl Friday decided to bake a delicious Lemon Bundt Cake. The cake was a no-go as soon as Girl Friday saw a disgusting dead moth in the mix, and was later informed that it was laden with other things too unmentionable to repeat. She thanked her compulsive shopping habits and decided to make a German Chocolate Cake instead. The mix was fine and all seemed to be on the right track, but then she realized the frosting was rancid. She didn’t so much realize as she did…taste-test. Girl Friday ended the weekend with a sour taste in her mouth, all right. Monday was slightly less horrible, but again, no cigar. On Tuesday, Girl Friday had a melt down. With every step forward she took, she tripped and fell backwards two. Now it is Wednesday and the list of things to do is still a mile long. Girl Friday is lacing up her running shoes as we speak.

Take from this summary of events what you will, but at the very least, be grateful for acts of the mundane!

Girl Friday apologizes for the lack of activity lately, but she had good reason to go MIA. Everyone knows that Superheroines need to have superhuman senses so they can sniff out trouble and hear desperate cries for help, etc. Well, Girl Friday needed to boost her vision and last week she went under the laser. Now she has 20/15 vision! The surgery was a minor inconvenience, but it did put her behind the wheel and away from the computer on Monday and Thursday, and out of commission completely on Tuesday. Her excuse for Wednesday was shopping with her mommy and a lunch date with The Notorious M.A.G. She wished sincerely that all her lovely Gal Pals could be there to enjoy the afternoon.